Big Data and Online Dating: A Perfect Match or Just Creepy?

Dating-v1

As I have mentioned a few times, I have been married for over 10 years. So, I never had the fun of dating in the era of social networking.  We actually had to call people on the phone and look for people in busy bars by seeing them with our eyes (like that funny scene in “Hot Tub Time Machine”). It was a lot of work!

It seems that people are increasingly using technology to help find “Mr. or Mrs. Right”. While dating sites have long looked for different characteristics to try to match up people, it seems that Big Data is taking this to a whole new level….but is that better?

Larry_Bellehumeur
Larry Bellehumeur

The idea of this blog came from an interview I saw for an upcoming book from Christian Rudder, who is not only the founder of a popular dating site, but also a Harvard educated data scientist. Rudder’s concept is based on the fact that the data never lies and it tells the truth, even when people do not.

After running a successful dating website for over 10 years, Rudder has a lot of data in his book on people, and not all of it is well received for a variety of reasons…

As examples, people tend to:

  • Almost always overestimate themselves, when it comes to their appeal to others, their faults and their overall attractiveness.
  • Often not be truly attracted to people they think they will be…so, women that prefer to date tall men often end up with less tall men.
  • Be much more judgemental about a potential partner online than they are in person…once a date actually happens, people tend to not be nearly as picky.

Is this just another case of Big Data being overly creepy?

Let’s face it…dating can be hard for many people. They are often very vulnerable and may be much more willing to share personal information if they think it will help their pursuit for an ideal partner.  Is it fair to then use this data for gain?

In Rudder’s defence, the data is being used as an aggregate and no actual individual’s user information is exposed. As well, as part of the “always-read” user agreements, people do agree to disclose this information….as, it really is only what you have agreed to post online anyways.

The Bottom Line

In my mind, Rudder has not crossed any ethical lines here, although he has come close. The data does not reveal anything personal and to be fair, most of his members chose to post this information anyways. However, like a previous blog that I did (where a free fitness application was reselling data to governments), people have a right to know if they are part of an overall experiment or if people are financially benefiting from their data.

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